Mom Lessons from a NFL Quarterback Moving: Forward after a Setback – Even if it’s Just a Bad Day
If you’re one of the 113 million people who watched the Super Bowl last month, you saw Eagles quarterback Jalen Hurts deliver a record-setting performance in a close loss to the Chiefs.
Before you get worried that we’ve become a sports blog instead of a mom blog, hang on! It’s what Jalen Hurts said AFTER the game that we’re going to talk about.
Hurts said, “Obviously, we had a big time goal we wanted to accomplish and we came up short. I think the beautiful part about it is everyone experiences different pain and everyone experiences different agonies of life. But you decide what you want to learn from it. You decide if you want it to be a teachable moment. I know what I’ll do.”
Read that again and let it set in.
After the biggest game in his young career, Hurts didn’t respond in anger, with frustration, or by making excuses. He acknowledged the pain of the loss. He put the loss into perspective. And he made the CHOICE to learn from the experience and move forward.
So how does his reaction help us to be better moms?
Think about how you react when things aren’t going as you expect. Sometimes we have big setbacks: an accident, illness, family emergency. Sometimes we just have a rotten day: the kids are fussing, you need to get to the store so you can make supper, the dog is tracking in mud. We all have those days when the little things pile up. How do you react (overreact?) in each scenario? Do you get frustrated and say or do something you later regret? Do you snap or yell at your husband or kids? We may think, “Well, sure, but those reactions are understandable given the circumstances.” And they may be. But what if we could do better?
Next time you find yourself facing a setback or having a “terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day” (shout out to Alexander and author Judith Viorst), take a deep breath and
1 – Acknowledge you’re having a bad day. It happens. To everyone. And it’s ok. But as we tell our kids: you can’t always control your circumstance, but you can control your reaction to it.
2 – Put your day into perspective. Is your frustration due to a number of small things that are piling up? Has a major, potentially life-changing, event occurred that needs immediate attention? Is a person causing your frustration, and, if so, is that person going through something affecting his or her behavior? Identifying the cause of your frustration can help you determine how to manage your reaction better.
3 – Own your response. If you snapped out of anger or frustration, or responded in another inappropriate way, own it. Apologize. If you need to do something else to rectify the situation, do it.
4 – Make the choice to learn from your experience and to do better. Consider why you reacted the way you did. Were you tired? In a hurry? Frustrated? Angry? Then, determine what you can do the next time you’re in a similar situation to avoid the same response. Do you need to walk away? Take a deep breath and count to 10 before you speak? Decide now what you will do different next time so you’re less likely to make the same mistake.
5 – Move on. As moms, it’s easy to dwell on our mistakes, but doing that doesn’t help us or anyone else around us. Once you’ve apologized, done what you needed to fix the situation, and decided how not to repeat, then forgive yourself and move on.
Implementing these five steps will help you better manage frustrating situations, making life a little easier for you and those around you.
Bonus: implementing these five steps helps you show your kids how to react in frustrating situations – and what to do when they react poorly. Your kids watch what you do. Take the time to teach them to own their mistakes, do what they can to fix them, learn from their mistakes, and then move forward. We all make mistakes, but we can learn not to repeat the same ones and not to let them hold us back. Drop a comment to let us know what tips you have to control your response in a tough situation.
Our mission at One by One is to mentor and educate new moms to parent well. Parenting well is always a work in progress, and we all make mistakes. Thankfully, we grow when we learn from our mistakes! If you’re interested in joining our community as a mom or mentor, click here.